Thoughts to Victims of a Bully

Of whatever benefit the articles on this Internet site,
written letters, and personal counsel may have been to others,
I have had occasion where someone who has been
so traumatised by a bully ( is still so haunted by the
memories of indignation to which they had been subjected )
will say … “You cannot imagine how it feels for me!”.

Perhaps not … yet, I am someone who has a very tender-heart
and peaceful disposition; and who seeks and shows gentility
in every facet of my life.

I have corresponded with those who have mentioned still feeling humiliated;
others, feel like a coward for not … ‘doing something’.

Many are tormented by the memory – the mental scars
of what a bully has done to them.

And the response of “friends” who tell them to
… ‘get over it’.

To such tormented souls, allow me to say that, while I cannot ‘know’
what it is like for you, personally, I DO understand what most
( especially in the crude, callous world of today ) do not.

You see, I DO know …

The lowest form of humanity that I ever encountered,
forced himself into my life in 1985, in the early stages of training
for my short time as a photographer in the Royal Navy.

Just after ten o’clock one night, the lights in the ‘transit mess’
(sleeping quarters in a naval facility where I was awaiting my first ‘posting’)
suddenly turned on.

Still half asleep, I pulled on my trousers and staggered out into the corridor.
Seeing two individuals from another mess, I approached them
and asked what was happening – was it a fire exercise?

One of the two walked up to me and, without any warning,
slammed his forehead across the bridge of my nose.

All I knew of the creature was that his name was Pennington;
and his accent seemed to indicate that he was from the northern part of England.

That very day, my parents had travelled, and just arrived
to spend a few days with me. To attempt to physically defend myself
from this vicious brute would be to spend the following day
in the Regulating Office – the Royal Navy’s police.

More significantly, and quite apart from that, physically defending myself
went against my nature. I was a peaceful and gentle young man.

Because of it, I had the indignity of having to turn and walk away.
And it has bothered me ever since.

Still … as my dear grandpa said to me once:

“There is no need for any genuinely God-fearing man or woman to seek revenge:
there Will Be a Day of Judgment,
and on that day, Another will do it far more efficiently,
effectively, and thoroughly, than any grieved victim ever could.”

As for my attacker, I would find out, later, that this
same malignant creature had a reputation as a thug and a bully –
never wasting an opportunity to push or otherwise physically assault anyone
who would not fight back. This was the type of vicious brute he was.

So, to those who reply that I do not know your mental anguish –
that sensation of ‘being a coward’ for not ‘standing up’ …
I DO know; I feel it as well … but would ask you to consider that:

You are not a savage.
And I am not a savage.

And so … should we … know how to respond with the same
cruelty and malice as them?

Bullies are SADISTS – they enjoy inflicting terror, degradation, and misery.

Bullies are NARCISSISTS – they have no other standard in life
but their own vanity. If they have a wife and family,
it is “My” wife, and “My” family – emphasis on the “My”.

Everything they do is to indulge their own ego.

People are objects, or possessions, to be used.

BULLIES are PSYCHOPATHS – they have no remorse: no conscience whatsoever.
Brutalising weaker, timid, and peaceful people
gratifies them – rather than shames them.

They have no shame because they have no conscience.
Everything is subservient to their love of self.

How then, is it possible that any moral human being
should know how to imitate the likes of them?

I have no television, but even I am aware that savagery
is now glorified and imitated by constantly increasing hordes
of vicious humanity who revel in its violent displays.

Since the deluge of ‘action heroes’ in the mid 1980’s,
gratuitous violence is the drug that has been pushed by Hollywood.
A generation has been nurtured on it,
and are unleashing upon the world, children of their own.

The days of Men … conscionable men, gentle men,
trustworthy men … are long gone.
The 21st century is the age greed, hedonism, filthy language,
violence … It is the age of the savage.

In daily life, these psychopaths can often be recognised by their eyes:
there is a “look” to these types of beings – ( you either know what I mean,
or you do not – it is not something I can explain. )

It is as though there were no human soul in these creatures:
they are strictly obsessed with domineering and degrading
all around them.

Women are toys; men are servants; and weak and timid people
are there to be stepped upon. This world – they would maintain –
is no place for The Old.

Look into the eyes of a bully (even in a photograph),
and you will invariably see the ‘absence’ of … Something
– something that you cannot ‘put your finger on’,
you simply have the impression that … ‘something is wrong’ –

The face frequently carries a derisive expression of perpetual scorn:
an ‘emptiness’ in the eyes; a practiced, ‘what are you looking at?’
sneer of contempt and arrogance.

There is, no humility, no compassion, no intellect
– no ‘warmth’ in the eyes … to put it simply:
the qualities that make a moral person ‘human’

– are not there.

Lack of a conscience: their eyes are … “dead”.

As a boy, I used to think that these were the ‘demoniacs’
that were mentioned in Biblical accounts and the ‘possessed’ individuals
of European and Eastern religion and folklore.

I still have not ruled that out.

How then, my disheartened friend, can you – who possess
a moral conscience and natural empathy,
hope to ‘stand up to’ a savage creature such as that?

A bully is everything that a respectable, trustworthy man or woman is not:
they glorify themselves, and find pleasure in humiliating others.

You cannot ‘reason’ with them, because they have no moral centre:
the “value” of everything in their existence is calculated
according to how much it gratifies their vanity.

Let a bully be made aware of the misery he caused someone 40 years ago,
and he will spew contempt, threats, or ridicule.

They will not feel shame or any sense of regret.
They have no capacity for sorrow.

Now, you who think yourself ‘weak’ or a ‘coward’ –

how can you, as a conscientious human being … ever think
that you can ‘stand up to’ savages such as these.

These are Bullies.

Sadists.
Vicious Narcissists.
Psychopaths.

And how can you possibly think yourself “weak”
because you are not like them?

A man is no coward who, because he possess a conscience
– a moral centre – subsequently recoils from violence.

Do not allow the memories of such soul-less creatures
to rob you of showing the world
that you are everything that these depraved beasts

are not.

P Livingstone

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