I used to think, as a boy that, whenever I saw,
read, or heard of cruelty from any human being,
it was the frightening evidence of demons
who were making themselves visible
in the natural world.
Such were the thoughts of a little boy.
The 1990’s saw the popularization of a perverse
mentality that proclaims ( to the effect that ) –
“Never regret anything that has happened in the past:
you cannot change it, so regard it as a lesson,
and ‘move on’ with your life.”
“Never Regret” … ?
It is nothing less than a Psychopath’s Mantra:
the doctrine of those who feel no remorse for anything,
and are affected to thoughtful consideration
by nothing … that lies outside of their own ego
There is an appalling plague that has infected
infantilised, modern masses, which proclaims that
“I cannot judge someone’s character
because I am not a ( heaven help us! )
IF there is anyone left on earth, under the age of,
say, 50 ( who actually POSSESSES a working mind
imbued with the ability to observe and consider ),
DO what Mature and Responsible adults
have done for thousands of years, and
“judge the tree by the fruit that it bears”.
It has been a great privilege in life,
to have been trusted with personal confidences
by people who, really, know nothing about me,
save for an impression that they had initially formed
about my character.
I remember occasions in life, where someone
(who has been so traumatised by a bully
that they are still tormented by the memories of
the indignity to which they had been subjected)
will say …
“You cannot imagine how it feels for me!”.
Perhaps not … yet, I am someone who has
a very tender-heart and peaceful disposition;
and who seeks and shows gentility
in every facet of my life.
And I do understand those who have
mentioned still feeling humiliated; who
feel like a coward for not having
Many are tormented by the memory – the
mental scars – of what a bully has done to them.
And the crude response of “friends”
who tell them to … ‘get over it’ —
perhaps the most insulting, degrading,
and callous sentiment
that can be levelled at some hurting soul;
and visible proof that the person
to whom they have come to for compassion,
has no interest Whatsoever in their pain.
To such tormented souls, allow me to say that,
while I cannot ‘know’ what it is like for you, personally,
I DO understand what most ( especially in the crude,
callous world of today ) do not.
You see, I DO know …
The lowest form of humanity that I ever encountered
forced himself into my life in 1985,
in the early stages of training for my short time
as a photographer in the Royal Navy.
Just after ten o’clock one night,
the lights in the ‘transit mess’ ( sleeping quarters
in the naval facility where I was awaiting
my first ‘posting’ ) suddenly turned on.
Still half asleep, I pulled on my trousers
and staggered out into the corridor.
Seeing two individuals from another mess,
I approached them and asked what was happening –
was it a fire exercise?
One of the two walked up to me and, without any warning,
slammed his forehead across the bridge of my nose.
All I knew of the creature
was that his name was Pennington;
and his accent seemed to indicate that he
was from the northern part of England.
That very day, my parents had travelled,
and just arrived to spend a few days with me.
To physically defend myself from this vicious brute
would be to spend the following day
in the Regulating Office – the Royal Navy’s police.
More significantly, and quite apart from that,
physically defending myself back then,
still went against my nature.
I was a peaceful and gentle young man.
Because of it, I had the indignity of having to turn
and walk away. And it has bothered me ever since.
Still … as my dear grandpa said to me once:
“There is no need for any genuinely God-fearing man
or woman to seek revenge: there Will Be
a Day of Judgment;
and on that day, Another will do it
far more efficiently, effectively – and thoroughly –
than any grieved victim ever could.”
So, to those who reply that I do not know
your mental anguish – that sensation
of ‘being a coward’ for not ‘standing up’ —
I DO know. I feel it as well …
but would ask you to consider that:
You are not a savage.
And I am not a savage.
And so … should we … know how to respond
with the same cruelty and malice as them?
Bullies are SADISTS – they enjoy inflicting terror,
degradation, and misery.
Bullies are NARCISSISTS – they have no other standard
in life but their own vanity. If they have a wife and family,
it is “My” wife and “My” family – emphasis on the “My”.
Everything they do is to indulge their own Vanity.
BULLIES are PSYCHOPATHS – they have
no remorse: no conscience whatsoever.
Brutalising weaker, timid, and peaceful people
gratifies them – rather than shames them.
They have no shame
because they have No Conscience.
Everything is subservient
to their love of Self.
The 21st century is absolutely inundated
with such individuals.
Gratuitous violence is the drug that has been pushed
by Hollywood for a century. Since the 1980’s,
it has become sadistic.
A generation has been nurtured on it, and are now
unleashing upon the world – children of their own.
The days of conscionable men, gentle men,
trustworthy men … are long gone.
Men have become slovenly, vulgar creatures
for whom domineering arrogance, laziness, and ease
seem to dictate their every thought, word, or deed.
The days of Ladies, too, are long a thing of the past:
women now dress, speak, groom themselves and act
in such a way as to imitate the modern image
of what now passes for ‘men’.
An “independent” woman now, is one
who is observably, aggressive, loud, domineering
Humility and Gentility have been obliterated
from the New Version of humanity.
Youths raised in the obscene depravity of the 1990’s
were taught that women are toys – ‘bitches’ to be used;
that shop clerks and company staff exist to serve them;
that weak and timid people are there to be stepped upon,
And this world is no place for The Old.
Look into the eyes of such creatures and you will
invariably see the ‘absence’ of … Something …
something that you cannot ‘put your finger on’ –
the derisive expression of perpetual scorn:
an ‘emptiness’ in the eyes; a practiced,
‘what are you looking at?’ sneer of contempt.
There is no humility, no compassion, no intellect;
neither ability or desire to carry on a conversation;
no ‘warmth’ in the eyes …
To put it simply:
the qualities that once make a person ‘human’
Are Not There.
Add viciousness and a desire to glorify themselves
and humiliate others,
and you have a depraved Bully.
Now then, my disheartened friend, can you –
who possess a moral conscience and natural empathy,
hope to ‘stand up to’ a conscienceless creature such as that?
You CANNOT ‘reason’ with such perverse creatures,
because they have no moral centre:
the “value” of everything in their existence
is calculated according to how much it gratifies
Let a bully be made aware of the misery
he caused someone 40 years ago,
and he will spew contempt, threats, or ridicule.
There is no shame, or any sense of regret.
They have no capacity for moral sorrow.
How much misery could be removed
if every person who reads these words
would think of one time when they –
let someone down;
made someone’s life miserable
– but then made some type of EFFORT
to ‘make it right’ ?
Without offering extenuating excuses ?
“I picked on you and I don’t know why”
… is NOT an apology.
It is salve for the stirrings of a guilty conscience
in a conceited human being.
“I picked on you because you were timid,
and I was an arrogant bully;
degrading you made me feel tough, and important –
and I am ashamed of myself for it.
I am so very sorry.”
… IS an apology
There are multitudes who regard themselves
as ‘self respecting’ people, who will never
bring themselves to do just that: say,
“I am sorry for the pain I caused you.”
I had thought – in 2016 – that I would
receive such a sentiment
from someone who dealt harshly with me
over 30 years earlier.
That person removed every shred of trust
I ever had in so-called ‘friends’,
and fostered a wariness of people that has
led me through life lived without them.
I never did receive any hint of regret.
Which is fine: it confirmed my lifelong course
of trusting animals and being content to have
no human friendships.
Multitudes have not the slightest trace of
empathy, compassion, or regret
for the harm they have caused others.
Add physical brutality to that inner callousness,
and you have the Bully.
How can you possibly think yourself “weak”
because you are not like them?
Keep short accounts with God:
Remember your own past failures;
Where it is possible to do so, apologise
to anyone you have wronged;
And where it is not, never forget your fault:
and never repeat it.
A man is no coward who, because he possess
a conscience – a moral centre –
consequently recoils from violence.
Do not allow the painful memories
of vicious, soul-less creatures
to rob you of occasions to show the world
that you are everything
that these depraved beasts
I used to believe – as a boy, that human beings
who feel no shame for the pain, torment, and anguish
that they have caused …
… were the physical manifestations of demons
exercising their malice in the visible world.
The thing is …
I Still Do.